I went to the best yoga class EVER today.

It was a regular hot yoga class (if those terms can go together)--90 minutes, high temperatures, high humidity, challenging poses. Several months of obsessive yoga  website reading--I mean, research--have been entertaining and very helpful.  I have read extensively about:

* Poses (several that will aid digestion; treat low back pain; help with insomnia; ease anxiety, align the chakras, and just about everything else);

* Appropriate attire for the practice of asana (whereupon I read of any number of controversies and opinions regarding tank tops, T-shirts, leotards headbands, shorts--and of course, the much-discussed yoga pants)

* Yoga etiquette (what kind of mat; how much space to take up; what to do about smells--the kind we buy, and the kind we create--when to stow electronic devices; and so on)

* Festivals and retreats (so very many...and in every conceivable location. The most challenging thing about knowing I'm not going to go is that each one holds the promise, real or complicit, that attending could change everything about my life experience for the better. This is the promise of yoga: one practice can create profound effects for the physical and spiritual bodies. As a licensed massage therapist, I understand how these things can be true--but I also understand that the benefits of a practice such as ours are not easily articulated...and are often wildly overstated.)

After all of this reading, and attending a few classes (supplemented by classes from websites and from the Fitness Channel), I am still a yoga beginner. That may be the case for a very long time--there is quite a bit to learn.

Today was significant because the instructor made our class phenomenal. While all of the instructors at the studio I attend (periodically, okay?) are competent, experienced professionals, this one was exceptionally attentive, and funny. (I don't know yet whether this is just a rumor--but based on my reading, Bikram yoga instructors are not generally known for spreading warm, fuzzy feelings.)  She offered gentle corrections--multiple times, when needed--she kept a close watch on everyone in our class; and she made it clear that achieving the poses is only a part of the process...and that the process gets easier with time. 

I was thoroughly enchanted. This was the magical experience that I have looked forward to ever since I started thinking about yoga. I felt thoroughly visible as I stood on my mat today. I felt that this instructor looked at me in my plus-sized body, and did not see a problem...but she saw me, with all of my flexibilities, unusual foibles, and odd sense of humor (yes, it helped that she laughed at my jokes).

It may have been entirely coincidental, but I found myself able to do more, and to perform better, in this class than ever before.  I was grateful to feel entirely welcome, and filled with possibilities--like an envelope of stars.

The magic of kindness...I got some.

(When you get some...pass it on.)



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This is a postscript to the previous essay.  After I clicked the button to make the post live, I realized that I left out something important.

Let me give you the names of some people who are important parts of my life. I don't know them, but they have helped me through vacation and depression; insomnia and delight.

In no particular order, the following is a list of some of the authors I read, who provide outstanding escapes into the realms of fantasy. I wish you many happy hours of discovery:

Tanya Huff          Possibly best known for the Blood series starring Vicki  Nelson (P.I.) and Henry (romance-writing vampire). The series was aired on Lifetime television as Blood Ties. I loved that series, but I was an even bigger fan of her Smoke Trilogy, starring Tony (reformed street kid from the Blood series).  The Smoke Trilogy begins with this book. Ms. Huff has many, many other delicious titles. Yum.

Mira Grant (a/k/a Seanan McGuire)   Oh, boy. I only discovered this writer a couple of years ago. It didn't take long before I was completely enchanted by her talent. You probably know her as the author of the Newsflesh Trilogy, a critically-acclaimed series that juxtaposed news writing and a postapocalyptic world filled with political problems and zombies. Sadly, the living are still the most frightening creatures. That series begins with this book. As Seanan McGuire (and also here and here), this author has created the acclaimed (and also wildly popular) October Daye series.

Robin Hobb  has written so many marvelous books that I don't know where to begin. I discovered her Liveship Traders trilogy first, so there lies my bias as to where a new reader could begin. Don't stop there, by any means. There is still the Royal Assassin series, as well as the Tawny Man series, and....well. Let me sum it up by saying:  Just keep reading.

Mercedes Lackey needs no introduction from me! I think I discovered her writing first by reading either this book or this one--I don't remember which.  I was going through a very difficult period, and felt utterly alone. These books made a big difference for me. (I have to admit: I am still a little bummed that this book, which is one of my all-time favorites by this author, is not available for Kindle.) Of course, then I was hooked by her style and her sense of adventure, and went on to read...well...everything else. (Almost.)

Elaine Viets  Okay, this author doesn't actually write fantasy. She is a mystery-writing friend of the talented Charlaine Harris, and her books are quite a bit of fun. I am a particular fan of her Dead-End Job mystery series, as I have held a number of dead-end jobs in my time, and this writer really seems to understand the experience!

Jim Butcher  I think I picked up my first Jim Butcher novel because Charlaine Harris had written a blurb for the cover. In her blog, she discusses the contest that she and Jim are waging, to see who can make his characters suffer the most (which, she acknowledges, Jim won).  I am a fan of the Dresden Files (both on and off the screen), featuring Chicago wizard Harry Dresden and a well-drawn cast of supporting characters. It is worth mentioning that most of the audiobooks were narrated by the gifted James Marsters (also known as Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel).

Alex Hughes is a recent discovery. I stumbled across Clean, the first book in the Mindspace Investigations series, at the end of an intensely busy period of travel, when I was trying to get used to sleeping in my own bed, and becoming reacquainted with going down to the kitchen to cook food instead of calling a restaurant. The breathtaking realism with which she writes the narrator's struggles is incredibly uncomfortable, and feels achingly true as a result. After this, be sure to read Payoff (the novella that was released between books) and Sharp, the next in the series.

Charlaine Harris  I remember picking up Dead Until Dark, the first book in the Sookie Stackhouse series, from an endcap created by a thoughtful librarian. It was love at first page. I love Charlaine's snarky sense of humor, her transparent characterization, and consistent worldbuilding. After this series, I went on to read all of Charlaine's other titles. This includes the Aurora Teagarden mysteries--which aren't fantasy, but are delightful reading--the dark, brooding Harper Connelly series, which begins with Grave Sight, and...well, I did say the rest. You know what that means. Ms. Harris's popularity soared with the release of True Blood, the Alan Ball-created television series about the world of Sookie Stackhouse, made with Charlaine's characters.  I have also played the hidden object game based on Dahlia, one of the characters in the Sookieverse. It's called Dying for Daylight, and I thought it was a lot of fun.

Richard Kadrey is the creator of the deliciously violent and impulsive Sandman Slim, whose sense of justice is always entertaining. Charlaine Harris, who wrote a blurb for the front cover, led me to this author as well.

Lilith Saintcrow is a writer of a number of dynamic fantasy series. I think the first thing I read by this author was one of her Dante Valentine series, but I will admit to falling for The Hedgewitch Queen (and sending a Kindle copy to my niece). Start here to learn more.

Holly Black is an author whose work I thought I first encountered in the anthology titled Teeth. When I looked at my digital copy, though, this author was credited for a different title. Undaunted, I checked By Blood We Live, the anthology where I discovered Garth Nix--but "The Coldest Girl in Coldtown", the short story I had fallen in love with, wasn't there.  When I felt an urgent read to lay my eyes on the tale again, I bought The Poison Eaters and Other Tales, an anthology of Holly Black's well-written stories. There, I fell hard for "The Coat of Stars", a tale crafted so exquisitely that I found myself sobbing aloud before the story's end.

Garth Nix is one of two authors here whose work I have read the least. I included him on this list because I was so impressed by "Infestation", his story in By Blood We Live.

Susan Kaye Quinn is the author of Delirium, and the second of two whose work I have seen very little of. She is included here because I so enjoyed the aforementioned title.

Neil Gaiman is the creator of the Sandman graphic novel series, which introduced the Eternals, a family of immortal creatures embodying human characteristics. Possibly, the two best-known of the family are the Sandman and Death. Mr. Gaiman has authored a number of beautifully complex tales, including Coraline (which was taken to the big screen in 2009), American Gods, and many, many others. The author was the winner of the World Fantasy Award in 1991 for Sandman #19,  "A Midsummer Night's Dream". Rumors insisted that the rules for the award were changed after a graphic novel was announced as one of the winners. For more information regarding Mr. Gaiman's works, see this page on the author's site, or this site.

Long may they all write on.

Every so often, people ask if I have suggestions for manifestation. I go back and forth on whether I think it is a good thing that we generally don't have magic wands for instant gratification.  Generally, I land on the side of YES--some time between initially identifying the desire and the time when the object is made manifest gives us some time to refine what we asked for. (When I think about things I asked for when I was in high school, I shudder.)

The following are some suggestions for beginning your process of co-creation. They are only suggestions. Some people have more success by creating a vision board, or by otherwise manipulating physical tools. I prefer to reserve my focus for the goal itself. Otherwise, I end up dispersing energy worrying whether I have the right props (which is completely beside the point, right?). Your mileage may vary.

1.  Identify your desire. Write it down in all of the detail you can possibly muster. Include all of the parts that you are envisioning. Give yourself permission to look at the whole thing, exactly the way you see it in your mind's eye. This step can be eye-opening.

2.  Envision yourself having this. Make it a 3-dimensional experience. What does it look like to have it? How does it feel to have it? How do you shift other things in your life to make space for it? Take the steps to make your life ready.

3.  Stand guardian at the portals of your mind. Spend some time being aware of the thought processes that you are having about the thing that you are trying to manifest. Make a list of the "NO" voice in your head. (There IS one. It's okay. The "NO" voice happens to everyone.) Write a response to every block to having your desire.

4.  Spend some time in the silence every day, seeing the picture you envisioned and being grateful that your desired object is already in your life. Spending time with your vision is reinforcing the message that you're sending to the universe that YES, you DO want what you asked for. This is also important because it gives *you* time to reconnect with your vision, and to look again at some ways that you can make space for it in your life.

4 1/2.  Take action: Make the space. Review your desire. Be grateful. Let the manifestation be part of your joy.


For more about manifesting, I suggest that you visit one of the places I love--Boni Lonnsburry's website:  www.LiveaLifeYouLove.com  I started reading her site when I was working for a company that I now refer to as Evil, Inc., and was feeling completely trapped. I was struggling with anxiety and bouts of depression, and the stress of the workplace sent me into a nasty spiral of allergies and respiratory grossness. Reading the site gave me hope, which ultimately helped me find my way again.

Every now and then, someone asks me what I think about skeptics.  That is, they wonder if one skeptic sitting in the audience, or sitting in a gathering (I offer group readings), can shut down my ability.

Well, no. Being psychic is not like having a radio signal that a nonbeliever can block with a screen. I mean, I also make soap, and I would not hesitate to make soap in a room where someone said they did not believe in soapmaking. I would cheerfully sing in the room with someone who did not believe anyone sang soprano anymore.

The presence of a skeptic would mean that I would choose not to read for that person, because they obviously don't feel invested in the process. The skeptic would not be a reason that I would avoid offering any reading at all.

By the same token, I would not immediately choose to include the skeptic, if I were given a chance to select the audience. The skeptic can make sort of a blank space in a room that is filling up with high-frequency vibrations. Visualize that as a single stone standing up from the bed of a river. It doesn't block the flow of the river, but it creates an obstacle that diverts the river's path.

That said, I don't think there is anything wrong with being a skeptic. I firmly believe that there is a place for skepticism within our panoply. And of course, you may be aware that I am both a psychic and a skeptic; passionately devoted to continuing to ask which parts of this are real.

I simply note here that skeptics can create other challenges if they refuse to consider the possibility that something could be real.  Whether or not you commute the disbelief to something else, refusing to hold space for the possibilities is a heavy burden to bear, it seems. Too heavy for me, by a long shot.

If the question is, "Does it matter?" I would answer that yes, intention always matters. Intent is the lightning rod that attracts experience.

But if the underlying question is, "Does a lack of belief change the baseline ability to ____________?", then I am bound to answer no.  Believing does not change what a thing is, and it cannot change the parameters of--well, anything.

Ability carries its own energy. Believing is separate.